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recovery from narcissistic abuse
'You took advantage of every second that I did not love myself.'
- Laura Gentile, From 'Daughterbody II: a self-reclamation through poetry'
Narcissistic abuse is a form of psychological abuse intended to mentally and emotionally imprison the targeted victim, eroding and replacing the self with the intention of fulfilling the perpetrator's wants and desires using lies, manipulation, control and psychological violence. It is also spiritual theft.
Much has been written on NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and the spectrum, the varying degrees of narcissism within it. It is medically and psychologically complex but it is also simple. The abuser only cares for themselves and they consider the victim, and everything they are, to belong to them to use for their own ends. This can be an incredibly difficult realisation to accept for the victim, especially if the abuser is a parent. As human beings we have such immense capacity for compassion and love but the narcissist has no interest in humanity, other than how it can be manipulated and controlled for their own gain. It is important to understand the mechanisms and techniques by which narcissistic abuse is perpetrated, including gaslighting and DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender), but my approach is much more about your recovery and healing - moving towards growing and flourishing - not about understanding your abuser.
Recovering requires a multidisciplinary approach - no one approach will have the impact needed to address something that is multi-faceted. I specialise in recovery of the self using holistic approaches and it is incredibly important to outline here the scope of my practice in this area to ensure transparency, honesty, boundaries and expectations on which we can build a trusted foundation for our sessions together. I am NOT a Psychotherapist, Counsellor, Psychiatrist, Mental Health Professional, NPD expert, GP or medical professional and I do NOT diagnose NPD or narcissistic abuse. I am a holistic, shamanic and spiritual healer and this is the approach and services I offer for recovery and support in this area. Most of my clients attend with me while attending psychotherapy, counselling or other similar therapy.
'I held truth against your crocodile tears.'- Laura Gentile, Poet & Novelist
Theft of Power
Many of my holistic therapeutic approaches help support your emotional self compassion, reconnecting with your physical body and the restoration of your own personal power, which is repeatedly stolen from you by the abuser. It is rightly yours, belongs with you, and it can be retrieved and restored.
One of the aims of my work is to help you not only reconnect you with yourself, the essence of who you are - not someone else's idea of who you should be or the behaviour you have had to adopt in order to survive - but to also foster a compassionate and loving relationship with your emerging self. Victims of narcissistic abuse often feel like they do not know who they are, what they think, how they themselves really feel. But your soul remembers, and we call upon it to restore you.
Shamanism: Healing For The Soul
My approach to narcissistic abuse recovery is quite different from the treatments and therapy of conventional medicine; they are energetic, vibrational, spiritual and shamanic in nature. There is an element of energetic and spiritual fracturing or fragmenting that occurs during abuse, in which spiritual parts of ourselves are 'shaken' from us by the experiences.
Loss of power and soul essence manifests itself physically as ailments, pain, recurring infections and dis-ease. I am not interested in exploring and analysing the behaviour of the narcissist who abused you - many clients have found this approach employed by other therapy methods actually reinforces the power and soul loss, little by little, and mentally traps the victim of abuse further. I want to help you break the chains, cut the cords and step into a life where you have your own autonomy.
Phone consultations are available to book online below as a first contact, where we have a brief chat and arrange an initial assessment appointment. *Please note that I am unable to reply to any email enquiries for recovery from narcissistic abuse - booking a phone consultation is the only way to initial contact.*
If you feel after our phone consultation, and after reading of the ethos, values and approaches of Flourish, that I am the right practitioner for you, we will secure your first appointment.
Your first session allows us the opportunity to explore either working together or not. This initial assessment session is exactly as described, an opportunity to explore whether we feel we would like to move forward in the healing process. Both parties are free to say either yes or no to working together, without expectation or judgement.
It is important to understand that Shamanic and holistic therapy are not 'miracle cures'. The one thing these approaches do have in common with other forms of therapy is the ongoing commitment required. Unlike many other forms of therapy, positive long-lasting changes can often happen in a much quicker timescale but this is directly influenced by your own approach and work towards this between sessions.
If we are moving forward in the process, I request an initial commitment to a minimum of 6 x 90 minute sessions, one each week, after your initial 90 min assessment appointment. One to one support plans provide a dedicated number of sessions necessary for the holistic support required for the process of your recovery. The sessions create a safe space where you are listened to with empathy and compassion and without judgement, emotionally supported throughout.
Your appointments are booked in advance and are intended to be the same day and time at each session, or as close as possible. This is therapeutically important. Payment can be made for all sessions in advance, or a deposit and payment plan is available. Please see terms for more details.
The plans are over the course of 6, 12 and 24 weeks, with longer plans available and ongoing follow on sessions when required - this is dependent on the extent of the healing required.
Appointments are attended at my private South Lanarkshire practice. For international clients and those unable to attend in person, online sessions are conducted via Zoom with remote support and distance healing.
Research and Recommended Reading
Studies have shown that various shamanic healing techniques have been used successfully with veterans experiencing PTSD.
The shamanic practice of soul retrieval is now considered a valid healing modality with further research warranted.
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